Maui Delirium

 

There is a phenomenon we have discovered, known as Maui Delirium.

Is this the delightful sense of delirium you experience,

as you immerse yourself in the splendor that is Maui?

 

Nay.

 

Quite the opposite, actually.

Delirium, by definition, is an acutely disturbed state of mind that occurs in fever,

intoxication, and other disorders and is characterized by restlessness, illusions,

and incoherence of thought and speech.

What on earth, you might ask, would cause you to feel this way on the vacation of your lifetime?

 

The flight.

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Sad, but true.  As you've heard me say before, the flight out here sucks.  No way around it.

Now, don't think for a moment I'm trying to discourage you from taking this trip.

As bad as the flight can be, you will be willing to subject yourself to it every year

for the rest of your life, if given even the slightest chance.

Maui is SO worth it!

 

I have done this trip just about every way possible.

 

Buffalo-Chicago-LA-Honolulu

Buffalo-Chicago-Honolulu

Buffalo-Charlotte-Las Vegas-Maui

Buffalo-Detroit-San Fran-Kona

Buffalo-Detroit-LA-Maui

Buffalo-New York-Honolulu

 

They all suck.

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I mean we are talking about a 15 hour (on average) journey, including lay overs.

Being in a tube for that long is arduous, at best.  You can do your best to occupy the time, amuse yourself, whatever it takes.  Watch movies, nap, drink yourself into a nice little buzz (which will wear off long before you arrive, so you can do it again if you wish).  I've found that no matter what you do, you may still find yourself (or more likely someone else may find you) in a state of Maui Delrium.  

How does Maui Delirium differ from just plain ole delirium?

Well, if they find you wandering the street exhibiting the traits of delirium,

they'll give a nice ambulance ride to the nearest psych ward.

If you're seen on a flight over the Pacific acting in the exact same manner,

you'll be greeted with an aloha and a flowery lei when you step off the plane.

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The video I'm about to show you may be upsetting for small children and some delicate house plants.

Watch at your own descretion.